Parenting books and spirited kids

I’ve just started reading a parenting book I found in my local library.

Now, normally I avoid parenting books like the plague – because they a) tend to make me feel inadequate and b) never quite seem to cover what I want to learn.  This is one I’ve picked up and glanced at several times over the last few months/years before actually bringing it home.

It’s called “Raising your spirited child” by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka (the 2006 revised edition).

So, why did I get it out this time and why am I now blogging about it?

Well, I got it out because one of my boys fits the author’s definiton of ‘spirited’ quite well.  He sometimes gets referred to as “Mr Bounce” for good reason – he is full of life, energy and volume, which is not always easy to live with (especially for his quiet, energy-conserving brother).  I figured that this book might give me a few clues on how to parent him towards functioning adulthood without squashing him.

I am blogging about it because what I didn’t expect was that this book would give me insight into myself and my own (previously unrecognised by me – though probably not by my family!) spiritedness – my need to move, my need to stretch, my need for quiet time to myself, my need for nice texture, and so on – which I have endeavoured over the years to squash to try and fit social norms of acceptable grown-up behaviour (trust me when I say that it has still leaked out round the edges!  I mean “belly dancing shaman” should’ve given the game away at least a bit – right?!)  I’m not sure why I have done this, except that I’ve always valued blending in.  Again, I don’t know why, except that it can be a form of self-protection.  (More introspection may be forthcoming in future posts).

So, now I’m looking forward to reading the rest of the book so I can find out how to better parent myself as well as my son.  I’ve already figured out a few useful things and I’ve still got 300 pages to go!


Author: verdant1

belly dancer, mother, student, public servant, shaman, knitter, sister, feminist, gardener and a lot more...

2 thoughts on “Parenting books and spirited kids”

  1. Blimey – that has got to be a good parenting book if it doesnt make you feel bad about your parenting skills and makes you think about yourself, really not bad at all!

    Im not a parent myself, but it sounds good. It also makes me think of two books I read on ‘the highly senstive person’, which really rang bells for me – given to me by an ex girlfriend who said it was me to the ground. I think it is a simillar thing to be honest!

    Would you like to borrow it from me (dont know if you would like to do that- am happy to post it to you?) My email address is jen DOT darkpurplemoon AT gmail DOT com

    Oh, I forgot to say, you have inspired me to try tribal belly dancing – there is a class not too far away from me at all! I am going to start in the new year and I am very much looking forward to it!!



  2. I was pleasantly surprised too.

    Congrats on the tribal belly dance class – I hope you find it fun (though, be warned, it is also very effective exercise)

    Thanks for the tip-off about ‘highly sensitive’ people. Don’t worry about the book (but many thanks for the offer – hugs!), I’ve found quite a lot of info online. Seems there are a quite a few of us HSPs online!


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