Feeling the rawness

I originally planned to write a completely different post this weekend, but that will have to wait.

I’ve spent the past few days feeling raw – easily moved to snarkiness and/or tears, feeling the need to hide, wanting to scream in frustration but afraid to let others hear…

Today it has eased a little – thank goodness.

I’m still not quite sure what set me down this track. There’s not one big thing I can pin it to. Just the usual host of grinding everyday mundanities and minor frustrations heaping themselves up into a stinking pile… nothing I can really explain, or feel that I can expect others to understand.

Which makes writing hard – and my dancing wild and unfocused (catharsis ahead of technique).

Grey days and the looming threat of wet and wild weather don’t help me, but then I felt like this when the sun was shining too.

I know that there must be some point to it all; some inner wisdom I need to uncover or something. I have to know this. It is my hope.

I suspect it is time to take stock and review.

To plan my escape and my sprint for my dreams.

To dance wildly and channel my raging energy into some sort of release.

To lick my wounds, assess the damage, and figure out the best way to heal.

To breathe, release and let the rhythm of life flow through me.

Wish me luck 😉

 

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Author: verdant1

belly dancer, mother, student, public servant, shaman, knitter, sister, feminist, gardener and a lot more...

2 thoughts on “Feeling the rawness”

  1. It seems to be the little things are the biggest triggers. I read this on the posting day and did indeed wish you luck. I hope you are moving into a space of head and heart and soul that are less gyrating and more ordered in your journeying forth.

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    1. Thank you, Aurora. My life is definitely stabilising now. And I think the rawness is proving worthwhile. I definitely have a growing sense of clarity about what my heart and soul crave, which is a good thing.

      Like

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