It’s been so long…

… sorry about that…

It’s almost hard working out how to write these posts again…

I’ve been having interesting, internally reflective times in recent months. This makes it hard for me to broadcast much externally – it’s not because I’ve forgotten you ;)

It all started late last year, when I realised my biggest barrier was …me…

So, I started working through Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way (which I do recommend – though do adapt it to suit your own life: weekly ‘artist’s dates’ are a distant dream for me, but I do take time to tend my inner artist, and there’s no reason why ‘morning pages’ can’t be done in the evening if that’s what suits you)

Eight months on and still doing my morning pages, I’ve learned a lot about myself and shifted a lot of crap (the psychic skip bin is overflowing!) – and I’m still my biggest barrier! However, I am a lot more conscious, more focused and a lot less effed up, so it’s all good really :)

Life is definitely a work-in-progress…

…especially creative life…

 

 

Savour the ‘Ordinary’

Some good advice:

William Martin, The Parent’s Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents

The poem continues:

You will have to constantly contend
with the pressure for ever more,
and ever bigger,
that culture seeks to impose
on your children
and you.
It takes courage and discipline
to go slow,
live simply,
and see clearly.
But the rewards are great.
What ordinary thing can you do together today?

Big and bright

…is not always best – or necessary.

Small steps and small things are important too.

It is rare to paint  a masterpiece without some small planning sketches first.

It is rare to dance beautifully without practice and drills and time to learn.

It is unnecessary to turn every blog post into a perfect masterwork of wordiness.

…and if I keep telling myself this, one day I might remember…

It is okay to be small.

It is okay to be imperfect.

It is okay to be human.

Oh, and if you do feel like being big and bright, that’s okay too :)

Being honest with myself

It’s not comfortable, nor is it easy…

… but it is worthwhile.

It is all to easy to turn towards busy-ness and away from one’s self – especially at those times when you most need to sit with yourself.

I’m fighting that tendency (now I’ve noticed it).

I will sit

and drink tea

and enjoy my own company…

… with pen and paper to hand (a nice flowing ink pen)

I will make time and room for myself

I will let my inner voice speak

and I will listen

 

Looking back…

Just over a year ago I committed to “The Stashbusting Sewalong”.

My goals for joining were to reduce the amount of fabric clutter in my life and do some sewing.

The good news is: I achieved BOTH these goals :)

There is no bad news.

The interesting news is: what I learned about myself through the process.

Yes, I have cleared my floor of fabric and removed those boxes shown in the original post (one of them is back temporarily – full of fabric waiting to find a new home with someone else).

Yes, I have sewed more than I usually would in a year.

And yes, along the way I have learned some interesting things about myself.

For me, the biggest revelation was discovering that I am NOT a person-who-loves-to-sew:

I can sew. It is useful for me to sew sometimes.

But…

…if I want something crafty to relax with, it’s going to be something with yarn.

And if I want to get really creative, I am going to get dancing…

Sewing is just not my ‘Thing’. It is simply a skill I have.

The other main thing I learned about myself is that, in general, I’d rather buy my clothes (mainly from Etsy).

I don’t mind making coats on occasion.

I don’t mind making skirts (though all the ones I made for myself have found their way out of my wardrobe – either to be re-modelled or passed on. Yep, ALL of them.)

I just don’t particularly enjoy the sewing process or find it satisfying (especially when the garment doesn’t fit right at the end, because I’m not competent enough as a dressmaker to adjust patterns. And I’m not interested enough to learn.)

So, heading into 2014, where does this leave me and my fabric stash?

Well, I do still have significant quantities of fabric to work through and assess. I am considering paying someone to make some of it up for me. Some of it will be completely surplus to my requirements – once I work through my attachment issues!

Probably the biggest thing is much of my guilt about not sewing has vanished :)

The freedom that has come from realising that it’s okay for me to not be a person-who-loves-to-sew is HUGE.

I feel like I can now pour my energy into the things I LOVE to do, without carrying around the guilt of the things I ‘ought’ to do.¬† That’s a fabulous (and ‘verdant’!) place to be ;) I recommend it.

Tip: if there’s anything sitting around your house that you ‘ought’ to read or make or do something with… get rid of it.

De-clutter AND de-guilt in one easy step! Someone else out there will love it…