I sometimes feel like my creativity is a very fickle beast: it hangs around getting in my face when I’m trying to do other things, then is nowhere to be seen when I have time and space for it (actually, that’s a lot like my cat…)
But when I stop and consider, it turns out the fickle beast is more likely to be me. My creativity scares me, so I run and hide from it. Then, when I want something from it, I go looking for it and am surprised that it doesn’t want to know me.
Or, I’m not ‘in the mood’ (whatever that is – apart from a great Big Band number) and ignore its suggestions, and then wonder why it doesn’t turn up on demand…
I’m not yet good at nurturing my creative spark, at listening to it, at allowing its needs.
Yet, I aspire to live a creative life – to coax that spark into a blaze…
… so I must learn
to pay attention to the voice inside me
to ‘hang out’ with my spark even when I feel like running from it
to do the work
even especially when it scares me
to stop aspiring and get on with actually living that creative life
It always be a work in progress – but I will continue to work for it…
Now here’s a thought:
(I’ve long admired Katherine Hepburn: “Known for her headstrong independence and spirited personality”… a wonderful woman and a real inspiration)
… sorry about that…
It’s almost hard working out how to write these posts again…
I’ve been having interesting, internally reflective times in recent months. This makes it hard for me to broadcast much externally – it’s not because I’ve forgotten you ;)
It all started late last year, when I realised my biggest barrier was …me…
So, I started working through Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way (which I do recommend – though do adapt it to suit your own life: weekly ‘artist’s dates’ are a distant dream for me, but I do take time to tend my inner artist, and there’s no reason why ‘morning pages’ can’t be done in the evening if that’s what suits you)
Eight months on and still doing my morning pages, I’ve learned a lot about myself and shifted a lot of crap (the psychic skip bin is overflowing!) – and I’m still my biggest barrier! However, I am a lot more conscious, more focused and a lot less effed up, so it’s all good really :)
Life is definitely a work-in-progress…
…especially creative life…
Some good advice:
William Martin, The Parent’s Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents
The poem continues:
You will have to constantly contend
with the pressure for ever more,
and ever bigger,
that culture seeks to impose
on your children
It takes courage and discipline
to go slow,
and see clearly.
But the rewards are great.
What ordinary thing can you do together today?
Sunshine through leaves
while the rain pours down.
Look! A rainbow!
The view that inspired my almost-haiku (hai-kant?!) Yes, it was raining when I took this… that’s what the little dots are.
…is not always best – or necessary.
Small steps and small things are important too.
It is rare to paint a masterpiece without some small planning sketches first.
It is rare to dance beautifully without practice and drills and time to learn.
It is unnecessary to turn every blog post into a perfect masterwork of wordiness.
…and if I keep telling myself this, one day I might remember…
It is okay to be small.
It is okay to be imperfect.
It is okay to be human.
Oh, and if you do feel like being big and bright, that’s okay too :)